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Stop the Madness, Nursing 101
By Colleen Shields
As I was reading American Baby magazine today, I was reminded of just how ridiculously over-the-top many parenting experts have become. For example, in a very entry level article on breast-feeding, which recommended every few sentences to speak to your doctor or lactation consultant for further advice, the recommendation was to nurse your baby “every 2 hours or every time he cries”, and that each side should last “between 20-40 minutes”. Let’s analyze this: if you were to nurse your baby every time he cried, you could be nursing him all day, every day, and not be able to sleep, eat, change diapers, etc. If you were to nurse the baby for 40 minutes on each side, that’s an hour and ten minutes, with a forty minute break before you had to nurse again. Now, factor in the very common scenario of not being able to get baby to latch-on properly initially, and basically, you are back to nursing the baby all day, every day, literally.
The idea that there are professionals that actually recommend the mentality that babies trump all mom’s needs, as well as basic common sense, no matter the consequences is madness. I am an advocate for breast-feeding your babies, don’t get me wrong. However, I think many seemingly good-natured women, who advocate for baby are losing sight of the fact that Mom has to actually survive taking care of baby for baby to ultimately thrive. Mom and baby are the ‘unit of care’. Mom’s needs, although minimized especially in the baby’s first few weeks of life, are important, and essential to the baby’s wellbeing.
For thousands of years, there was no “lactation consultant”. I think they are great, I have used them, and paid for their services myself, however, I want my readers to recognize that for most women in history, breast-feeding advice came from experienced mothers, aunts, grandmothers, neighbors, and ‘nurse-maids’.
Being committed to breast-feeding my children, I learned some things that I, too would like to share with you, in hopes that you can see clearly through advice that simply doesn’t make sense, to something more realistic and do-able.
The first chance that you have to actually sit-up, you should try to nurse the baby. For you C-section moms, the recovery room is not optimal- you can’t sit-up. However, when you can, kick everyone out of the room except for your favorite nurse or helper and give it a try. First, place a pillow under baby- he is so small this is helpful. Place several pillows behind your back. Let your nurse show you various holds, for first-time moms- I recommend foot-ball hold because you have more control over baby’s head.
Squeeze the nipple to release some colostrum, this will get baby more interested in the prospect of sucking. Get babies jaw to drop by stroking his cheeks. The tongue should be down. When his month opens as wide as he can, pull him into the breast. A couple of things may happen: he may pull his tongue back, close his mouth before it gets to breast, or fall asleep. Keep trying and trying. If he falls asleep, unwrap him, tickle his feet, take off his undershirt if you have to. If he gets on the breast with a wide-open mouth, and tongue down, look to see that his lips are flanged all the way around. Let him suck and after a few minutes look for signs of swallowing- his upper jaw will be moving, his throat will be moving, and if he’s been hungry, he’ll relax.
If you have problems initially GET IMMEDIATE HELP. I can’t stress this enough. You can develop an incredibly painful blister or sore after one poor latch. The first week or so, you will feel like you are nursing all the time, but every 2-3 hours is about right. However, baby is getting colostrum at first which is what I call “super-milk”, so he only needs about 6 minutes on each side. After your milk comes in, in my experience and my consultants say nurse 12 minutes each side- tops.
After 4 weeks, optimum time between the beginning of each nursing is 3 hours. However, you can let the baby go up to 4 hours between nursing if he is sleeping or not fussy. At night, my pediatrician recommends letting baby go up to 6 hours without waking him to nurse. If he wakes he should not be going less than every 3 hours at night until he is 6 weeks old. After six weeks, you can wean him off his night time feedings, down to one per night until he is 2 months. After two months, you can cut out night-time feedings all together.
Many people will likely not agree with me on. My recommendations come from my pediatrician, my lactation consultants, as well as my Mother (of 6), my Aunt Joannie (mother of 9), and my aunt Patsy (mother of 8). Additionally, after three children, my own experience nursing has been different each time. My first baby only nursed for 8 weeks and was never able to get off the shield. My second nursed for 17 months, but it started out with one bad latch, and gruesome incredibly painful blisters. My third was relatively easy, but she quit after 4 months. So, my reasoning in sharing these ups and downs in nursing with my own experience is that I want every mother reading this to realize: a. It’s not easy, and b. sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Stick to your instincts. Stop letting people give you crazy advice that will surely send you to an early grave, and when in doubt, ask your mom, your aunt, your cousin. With persistence and support, you will be able to nurse as long as you want. Another time, I will discuss how to handle public nursing. When you learn my tips, you’ll see, it’s a breeze.
By Colleen Shields
As I was reading American Baby magazine today, I was reminded of just how ridiculously over-the-top many parenting experts have become. For example, in a very entry level article on breast-feeding, which recommended every few sentences to speak to your doctor or lactation consultant for further advice, the recommendation was to nurse your baby “every 2 hours or every time he cries”, and that each side should last “between 20-40 minutes”. Let’s analyze this: if you were to nurse your baby every time he cried, you could be nursing him all day, every day, and not be able to sleep, eat, change diapers, etc. If you were to nurse the baby for 40 minutes on each side, that’s an hour and ten minutes, with a forty minute break before you had to nurse again. Now, factor in the very common scenario of not being able to get baby to latch-on properly initially, and basically, you are back to nursing the baby all day, every day, literally.
The idea that there are professionals that actually recommend the mentality that babies trump all mom’s needs, as well as basic common sense, no matter the consequences is madness. I am an advocate for breast-feeding your babies, don’t get me wrong. However, I think many seemingly good-natured women, who advocate for baby are losing sight of the fact that Mom has to actually survive taking care of baby for baby to ultimately thrive. Mom and baby are the ‘unit of care’. Mom’s needs, although minimized especially in the baby’s first few weeks of life, are important, and essential to the baby’s wellbeing.
For thousands of years, there was no “lactation consultant”. I think they are great, I have used them, and paid for their services myself, however, I want my readers to recognize that for most women in history, breast-feeding advice came from experienced mothers, aunts, grandmothers, neighbors, and ‘nurse-maids’.
Being committed to breast-feeding my children, I learned some things that I, too would like to share with you, in hopes that you can see clearly through advice that simply doesn’t make sense, to something more realistic and do-able.
The first chance that you have to actually sit-up, you should try to nurse the baby. For you C-section moms, the recovery room is not optimal- you can’t sit-up. However, when you can, kick everyone out of the room except for your favorite nurse or helper and give it a try. First, place a pillow under baby- he is so small this is helpful. Place several pillows behind your back. Let your nurse show you various holds, for first-time moms- I recommend foot-ball hold because you have more control over baby’s head.
Squeeze the nipple to release some colostrum, this will get baby more interested in the prospect of sucking. Get babies jaw to drop by stroking his cheeks. The tongue should be down. When his month opens as wide as he can, pull him into the breast. A couple of things may happen: he may pull his tongue back, close his mouth before it gets to breast, or fall asleep. Keep trying and trying. If he falls asleep, unwrap him, tickle his feet, take off his undershirt if you have to. If he gets on the breast with a wide-open mouth, and tongue down, look to see that his lips are flanged all the way around. Let him suck and after a few minutes look for signs of swallowing- his upper jaw will be moving, his throat will be moving, and if he’s been hungry, he’ll relax.
If you have problems initially GET IMMEDIATE HELP. I can’t stress this enough. You can develop an incredibly painful blister or sore after one poor latch. The first week or so, you will feel like you are nursing all the time, but every 2-3 hours is about right. However, baby is getting colostrum at first which is what I call “super-milk”, so he only needs about 6 minutes on each side. After your milk comes in, in my experience and my consultants say nurse 12 minutes each side- tops.
After 4 weeks, optimum time between the beginning of each nursing is 3 hours. However, you can let the baby go up to 4 hours between nursing if he is sleeping or not fussy. At night, my pediatrician recommends letting baby go up to 6 hours without waking him to nurse. If he wakes he should not be going less than every 3 hours at night until he is 6 weeks old. After six weeks, you can wean him off his night time feedings, down to one per night until he is 2 months. After two months, you can cut out night-time feedings all together.
Many people will likely not agree with me on. My recommendations come from my pediatrician, my lactation consultants, as well as my Mother (of 6), my Aunt Joannie (mother of 9), and my aunt Patsy (mother of 8). Additionally, after three children, my own experience nursing has been different each time. My first baby only nursed for 8 weeks and was never able to get off the shield. My second nursed for 17 months, but it started out with one bad latch, and gruesome incredibly painful blisters. My third was relatively easy, but she quit after 4 months. So, my reasoning in sharing these ups and downs in nursing with my own experience is that I want every mother reading this to realize: a. It’s not easy, and b. sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Stick to your instincts. Stop letting people give you crazy advice that will surely send you to an early grave, and when in doubt, ask your mom, your aunt, your cousin. With persistence and support, you will be able to nurse as long as you want. Another time, I will discuss how to handle public nursing. When you learn my tips, you’ll see, it’s a breeze.
Asked by Colleen Shields
on May 27, 2009
1 comment •
Breastfeeding
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Colleen ShieldsMOTHER'S ADVOCATE Colleen Shields is the creator of Survivalmom.com, the television show “Surviving Motherhood” (not the TLC version), and the charitable organization, The Survival Mom’s Network. Colleen serves as our very own ‘Mother’s Advocate’, and oversees the operations of Survivalmom.com. She is the mother of four children, from 7 to 1 year-old. She is a former Account Executive for NBC, (among other sales oriented positions), and actress. Colleen credits her passion for motherhood to her Mother, Catherine McCarthy (of 6!), and her Grandmother, Flora Coan Daly, who tirelessly raised nine children while pursuing her causes with courage, passion and determination- with no fanfare, no salary, and little acknowledgement. Colleen lives in Annapolis, Maryland with her husband, Optometrist, Dr. George B. Shields and their children. Together they own and run Embassy Opticians, located at the top of Main Street in downtown Annapolis, as well as Flora Dora Productions, Inc.
Jennie Grimm
Co-Host/Super Mommy Jennie Grimm dishes it out as the shorter half of The Momtastics ™ along side Colleen Shields. First and foremost she is the mother of Jack, Katie and Charlie. A veteran of the publishing world, she co-created The GiggleWings—a line of plush dolls that sold over 500,000 units in their first two weeks. She also co-authored “Meet The GiggleWings,” a children’s book based on the dolls. A graduate of West Virginia Wesleyan College and the prestigious NYU Publishing Institute, she has worked on both the creative and business sides of book and magazine publishing. After a brief stint as an intern at a Harper Collins imprint, Jennie worked as a contractor with Arthur Anderson editing the Department of Defense’s creepy reports to Congress. She then made the move to Network Communications as the second in command of over 70 real estate publications from Atlanta to Alaska. When the wheels fell off her suitcase, Jennie knew it was time for a change and embarked on creating a career as a freelance writer and columnist for local and national magazines where she threw caution to the wind jumping out of airplanes and interviewing some pretty scary characters all in the name of her “art.” Jennie married her husband Pete in 2001. A graduate of The United States Naval Academy, Pete left the Navy in 2006 and currently works for the Department of Defense as, well…we could tell you but then we would have to kill you. As a recovering military wife, Jennie has been in the unique position of being married and a single parent at the same time due to her husband’s multiple journeys overseas. After her last pregnancy, Jennie and Pete cut a deal: he would stop deploying to Iraq if she would stop having babies. Jennie and her family live in Annapolis, Maryland within shouting distance of Colleen and her brood.
Co-Host/Super Mommy Jennie Grimm dishes it out as the shorter half of The Momtastics ™ along side Colleen Shields. First and foremost she is the mother of Jack, Katie and Charlie. A veteran of the publishing world, she co-created The GiggleWings—a line of plush dolls that sold over 500,000 units in their first two weeks. She also co-authored “Meet The GiggleWings,” a children’s book based on the dolls. A graduate of West Virginia Wesleyan College and the prestigious NYU Publishing Institute, she has worked on both the creative and business sides of book and magazine publishing. After a brief stint as an intern at a Harper Collins imprint, Jennie worked as a contractor with Arthur Anderson editing the Department of Defense’s creepy reports to Congress. She then made the move to Network Communications as the second in command of over 70 real estate publications from Atlanta to Alaska. When the wheels fell off her suitcase, Jennie knew it was time for a change and embarked on creating a career as a freelance writer and columnist for local and national magazines where she threw caution to the wind jumping out of airplanes and interviewing some pretty scary characters all in the name of her “art.” Jennie married her husband Pete in 2001. A graduate of The United States Naval Academy, Pete left the Navy in 2006 and currently works for the Department of Defense as, well…we could tell you but then we would have to kill you. As a recovering military wife, Jennie has been in the unique position of being married and a single parent at the same time due to her husband’s multiple journeys overseas. After her last pregnancy, Jennie and Pete cut a deal: he would stop deploying to Iraq if she would stop having babies. Jennie and her family live in Annapolis, Maryland within shouting distance of Colleen and her brood.
