Full RSS Feed
Colleen & Jennie’s Blog
Posted by Colleen Shields
on March 08, 2010
0 comments •
In one of the few quiet moments of the week during yoga, I was reminded to "let go". I tensed thinking about all the details, stressors and things that I must worry about. "Let go. Enjoy this moment of quiet and peace." When I really took the words in- to just let go, I realized at that moment how much I was actually keeping in. I realized how much I had taken on as my own, how much I was worrying about it, and how really I did indeed just need to let go. I kept this thought with me for the rest of the week, and kept repeating it to myself to "let go". Like a little gift, neatly wrapped in sparkling gold paper and a big bow, I pass on to you a few moments of letting go that we all need at some time or another, and apparently I need quite a lot.
1. When you are alone, be alone. Stop worrying thinking and driving yourself crazy analyzing how to solve your problems.
2. Look up when you are down. I got 8 lbs. of free shrimp from Giant- a promotion deal from their pharmacy...(my husband reminds me it wasn't exactly free). There are deals all around you, but if you are too stressed and upset or maniacal you will miss them.
3. Do what you can, and then be done. When you are preparing for a big event, at some point, be done. Meaning when it's that moment when you know that you have done most of what can be done, just have trust and faith that it will work out, and give it as a gift to the those around you.
4. Stop worrying about everyone else. They will live. No amount of worrying for them will solve their problems.
5. Stop trying so hard with some people. Sometimes there is that old friend that you keep trying to connect to who doesn't seem to reciprocate, or that person at work who vaguely ignores you when you are nice to them. Let those people go, and stop trying.
6. Leave the mess. It will be there for you when you come home.
7. Get off the cross, we need the wood. This is not my quote, however, I do believe it. If you are so busy feeling sorry for yourself, you are robbing others of what they need from you, and robbing yourself too.
8. Stop comparing yourself to others. Sometimes it’s not the dirty car that bothers us, with cheerios and dried cheese sticks to the carpet, it’s that we know that others will notice and judge. Who cares?
9. You are on the same team. When couples are enduring stress, they fight each other. Remind yourself one of you is the quarterback and the other is the running back and darn it you will win together.
10. Trust your swing. A golf aficionado asked me recently "Do you try to hit the ball?", I said "Well, yeah...??" She said, "That's the trick to golf, you can't try. You must have the fluidity down and trust you will hit the ball."
If you trust yourself, and let all ancillary stress go, you will be happier. I guarantee it.
Latest Question 
I cannot get my 2 and half year old off the pacifier...I have tried getting rid of them entirely, only to wake my husband up at 3 am to dig the last one out of the car glove box due to my screaming child. He won’t go to bed without it!! Help!
Posted by momofeight • 1 answer • Day-to-Day • June 04, 2009
Latest Tip
Helicopter Parents are so annoying to us parents who are relaxed an unannoying. Relax people!
Posted by Kelly G • 1 comment • Day-to-Day • May 26, 2009
Latest Tool
http://www.parentsupersite.com/
Check out this parenting site, it's very cool
Check out this parenting site, it's very cool
Posted by Colleen Shields • 0 comments • Links • May 28, 2009
Lastest Technique
B.O.M.A:
Burnt Out Moms Anonymous, Answers & Hope
By: Colleen Shields
It’s funny how when we have little ones, whether we like it or not, 150% of our energy goes into raising them to be the best people they can be. Uber Moms of today are so into creating their little Ivy League, Pro-Soccer playing, CEO’s, that they can hardly keep up with the practices, games, study-halls, tudors, and arranged playgroups with fellow little CEO’s. More and more mothers I know are becoming exhausted, and in a constant state of frenetic rushing to and fro. Drivers beware: minivans may appear like sheep on a highway of wolves, but they’ll fly past you on the left faster than you can adjust your rearview.
The net result of this entire obsession with super-children, is mothers who can’t remember their favorite color, much less their former passion. And if you feel like you can’t keep up, you are not alone. If you are having dreams about forgetting the soccer pads for practice, burning the cookies for the bake-sale, and God forbid, forgetting to sign the field-trip permission slip, you too, are on your way to the morning you decide the bathroom floor is more appealing than the inside of a car all day, and you lock yourself in, and hunker down, possibly forever.
Not to fret. There are answers. So listen carefully:
#1. Say no.
Say no to the volunteer request every once in a while. Let someone else help make the Easter eggs. You think your kids will be upset, when the reality is, they’ll hardly notice.
#2 Give Yourself a Break!
Uber Moms may look good, and their children may appear to be superhuman next to your child with peanut butter and jelly on his cheeks, but let’s face it, she probably didn’t feed them lunch so their new outfit wouldn’t get soiled. So give yourself a little credit, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Your house does not need to look like a museum, who cares if there are crumbs all over the car, and if the laundry doesn’t get done everyone will survive.
#3 Limit the activities
A mom told me once she lets her children pick one activity a season. This makes sense. When picking activities, consider YOU! Set up a carpool with a friend for sports and rotate the kids for practices, find a piano teacher in the neighborhood so it’s easy to get them in and out, look for after-school activities right at the school- giving you one less car run, and put multiple children in the same class if possible.
#4 Follow the Flight Attendants Rules:
Remember the part where the perky flight attendant gives emergency instructions before take-off and says “In case of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on, and then your child’s”? Take care of you first, and then you can take care of them. When you are fed, rested, and hydrated it’s a lot easier to tend to your child’s demands. I’m typically deluged with requests for ketchup, drinks, a different spoon, a different cup, coupled with multiple phones ringing and texts going off, and needless to say dinner time is a challenge. I always make sure I eat something, and get my own drink before the onslaught begins. Brush your teeth first in the morning, get your coffee first, get yourself dressed first, do these things before you do them for your child- you’ll feel happier, clean and not distracted with your own sense of what you need to do for yourself.
#5 Do One Thing For Yourself Every Day
Eating, sleeping, and brushing your teeth don’t count. I’m talking about a trip to the gym, paint your toe nails, do a mask, call an old friend, write in your journal, work on your scrap book, buy yourself a goody, plan your future, learn an instrument, return to an old hobby, read your book, pray, do a salt-scrub, watch your favorite show etc. Even putting lotion on your legs is a luxury to some, but the point is, do it- do something that makes you feel like you are taking care of you, even if it’s only 1 minute.
#6 Write Down Your Wants
We are constantly putting our own thoughts, ideas, wants, wishes, desires, goals and life aside for the moment in order to care for our children. It’s a matter of particularly when you have small children. The point is, your time will open up very soon. Once your children start pre-school, you will have small windows of unexpected time. It’s important to use these small voids of time to work toward your long term goals. Start a “Wish Book” where you write down your goals, your desires, your life expectations. When you have a moment to get back to them either later in life or waiting in the car-line, you may be able to do a little something to move you closer to your goals.
#7 Put It In Perspective
Remember- back when we were growing up, no one even wore seat belts half the time, car seats were not always used, and you were home before dark. Structured play-dates did not exist and most mothers did not have the pressure to fulfill their education, realize their brilliant career, while simultaneously being super mom. The point is, we turned okay. We survived it, we are A okay. Take a deep breath, the great majority of issues with regard to our children are temporary. Many stages take place and typically not that difficult to solve. So RELAX!
When your children are overscheduled, Mom is overscheduled and your life becomes a struggle which you have placed entirely upon yourself voluntarily. So I challenge mothers to stop the madness, look for smart ways to keep your children involved, and don’t forget to take of yourself in the process. Good luck on creating a happy family, and happy home.
Burnt Out Moms Anonymous, Answers & Hope
By: Colleen Shields
It’s funny how when we have little ones, whether we like it or not, 150% of our energy goes into raising them to be the best people they can be. Uber Moms of today are so into creating their little Ivy League, Pro-Soccer playing, CEO’s, that they can hardly keep up with the practices, games, study-halls, tudors, and arranged playgroups with fellow little CEO’s. More and more mothers I know are becoming exhausted, and in a constant state of frenetic rushing to and fro. Drivers beware: minivans may appear like sheep on a highway of wolves, but they’ll fly past you on the left faster than you can adjust your rearview.
The net result of this entire obsession with super-children, is mothers who can’t remember their favorite color, much less their former passion. And if you feel like you can’t keep up, you are not alone. If you are having dreams about forgetting the soccer pads for practice, burning the cookies for the bake-sale, and God forbid, forgetting to sign the field-trip permission slip, you too, are on your way to the morning you decide the bathroom floor is more appealing than the inside of a car all day, and you lock yourself in, and hunker down, possibly forever.
Not to fret. There are answers. So listen carefully:
#1. Say no.
Say no to the volunteer request every once in a while. Let someone else help make the Easter eggs. You think your kids will be upset, when the reality is, they’ll hardly notice.
#2 Give Yourself a Break!
Uber Moms may look good, and their children may appear to be superhuman next to your child with peanut butter and jelly on his cheeks, but let’s face it, she probably didn’t feed them lunch so their new outfit wouldn’t get soiled. So give yourself a little credit, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Your house does not need to look like a museum, who cares if there are crumbs all over the car, and if the laundry doesn’t get done everyone will survive.
#3 Limit the activities
A mom told me once she lets her children pick one activity a season. This makes sense. When picking activities, consider YOU! Set up a carpool with a friend for sports and rotate the kids for practices, find a piano teacher in the neighborhood so it’s easy to get them in and out, look for after-school activities right at the school- giving you one less car run, and put multiple children in the same class if possible.
#4 Follow the Flight Attendants Rules:
Remember the part where the perky flight attendant gives emergency instructions before take-off and says “In case of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on, and then your child’s”? Take care of you first, and then you can take care of them. When you are fed, rested, and hydrated it’s a lot easier to tend to your child’s demands. I’m typically deluged with requests for ketchup, drinks, a different spoon, a different cup, coupled with multiple phones ringing and texts going off, and needless to say dinner time is a challenge. I always make sure I eat something, and get my own drink before the onslaught begins. Brush your teeth first in the morning, get your coffee first, get yourself dressed first, do these things before you do them for your child- you’ll feel happier, clean and not distracted with your own sense of what you need to do for yourself.
#5 Do One Thing For Yourself Every Day
Eating, sleeping, and brushing your teeth don’t count. I’m talking about a trip to the gym, paint your toe nails, do a mask, call an old friend, write in your journal, work on your scrap book, buy yourself a goody, plan your future, learn an instrument, return to an old hobby, read your book, pray, do a salt-scrub, watch your favorite show etc. Even putting lotion on your legs is a luxury to some, but the point is, do it- do something that makes you feel like you are taking care of you, even if it’s only 1 minute.
#6 Write Down Your Wants
We are constantly putting our own thoughts, ideas, wants, wishes, desires, goals and life aside for the moment in order to care for our children. It’s a matter of particularly when you have small children. The point is, your time will open up very soon. Once your children start pre-school, you will have small windows of unexpected time. It’s important to use these small voids of time to work toward your long term goals. Start a “Wish Book” where you write down your goals, your desires, your life expectations. When you have a moment to get back to them either later in life or waiting in the car-line, you may be able to do a little something to move you closer to your goals.
#7 Put It In Perspective
Remember- back when we were growing up, no one even wore seat belts half the time, car seats were not always used, and you were home before dark. Structured play-dates did not exist and most mothers did not have the pressure to fulfill their education, realize their brilliant career, while simultaneously being super mom. The point is, we turned okay. We survived it, we are A okay. Take a deep breath, the great majority of issues with regard to our children are temporary. Many stages take place and typically not that difficult to solve. So RELAX!
When your children are overscheduled, Mom is overscheduled and your life becomes a struggle which you have placed entirely upon yourself voluntarily. So I challenge mothers to stop the madness, look for smart ways to keep your children involved, and don’t forget to take of yourself in the process. Good luck on creating a happy family, and happy home.
Posted by Colleen Shields • 0 comments • Extracurricular • June 03, 2009
